Truth which blows our mind

‘I AM’

John 8:58 Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, before Abraham was, I am.”

(Marc Chagall: 'Abraham and the Three Angels')

Today, we begin to look at some of the names Jesus gave to himself. This is by contrast to yesterday when we came to the conclusion that we could not worship Jesus as 'King of the Jews' because, in so many ways, it was not a name which inspired that kind of prayerful response. We walk with John's Gospel for the next few days, for it is here that we have the 'I am' sayings of Jesus.

So we begin with 'I am' itself. In three short letters and two short words Jesus reveals one huge truth. He uses the words of God to Moses - I AM - as code for 'I am God'. And he also suggests he pre-exists Abraham, the father of faith – the one who was the start of life and religion as the Jewish people. Quite a lot to get our head around. This huge truth was too much for Jesus’ hearers, as recorded in John 8. Claiming primacy over Abraham and using code for 'I am God', in the precincts of the Temple, Jesus had to make a swift exit as the crowd he was addressing turned on him and picked up stones to kill him. Jesus seems to light the blue touch paper and then withdraws.

It is worth just having a portion of Chapter 8.31-58 in front of us: Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, ‘If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are descendants of Abraham and have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean by saying, “You will be made free”?’

Jesus answered them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not have a permanent place in the household; the son has a place there for ever. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. I know that you are descendants of Abraham; yet you look for an opportunity to kill me, because there is no place in you for my word. I declare what I have seen in the Father’s presence; as for you, you should do what you have heard from the Father.’

They answered him, ‘Abraham is our father.’ Jesus said to them, ‘If you were Abraham’s children, you would be doing what Abraham did, but now you are trying to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did. You are indeed doing what your father does.’ They said to him, ‘We are not illegitimate children; we have one father, God himself.’ Jesus said to them, ‘If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now I am here. I did not come on my own, but he sent me. Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot accept my word. You are from your father the devil, and you choose to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me. Which of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me? Whoever is from God hears the words of God. The reason you do not hear them is that you are not from God.’

The Jews answered him, ‘Are we not right in saying that you are a Samaritan and have a demon?’ Jesus answered, ‘I do not have a demon; but I honour my Father, and you dishonour me. Yet I do not seek my own glory; there is one who seeks it and he is the judge. Very truly, I tell you, whoever keeps my word will never see death.’ The Jews said to him, ‘Now we know that you have a demon. Abraham died, and so did the prophets; yet you say, “Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.” Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died? The prophets also died. Who do you claim to be?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father who glorifies me, he of whom you say, “He is our God”, though you do not know him. But I know him; if I were to say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you. But I do know him and I keep his word. Your ancestor Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day; he saw it and was glad.’ Then the Jews said to him, ‘You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, before Abraham was, I am.’ So they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple.

What puzzles me a little about the context is that it starts by telling us that Jesus is addressing people who believe in him. Perhaps these 'believers' were wrestling with their own identity as well as with Jesus' identity. And it seems that in the end their sense of identity in the ancient roots of their faith, as they understand it, wins. The more they engage with Jesus the more they seem to fortify their position.

They fall back on their sense of identity which has a line all the way back to Abraham. Their faith was based on an ancient shared history, a rich culture and a proud sense of chosen-ness and spiritual liberty. It was a faith based on the past, but perhaps a past filtered by stuff that seemed to blind them to the present and the future.

It is seems to me that this encounter is something we experience ourselves when we journey with Jesus in discipleship. We know the tension between what we think we know and believe and having the courage to allow new spiritual realities to be unveiled to us. We know that we can easily hold on to faulty doctrine and become very defensive of what we think we know about God. But we also know that there is another part of our spiritual formation which urges us to open up to the mystery and the unknown. This is the spirituality of prayerful waiting and consideration. And it is in these moments of mystery that we meet God and are transformed by truth far more profoundly than we ever are by relying on what we think we already know. This encounter between Jesus and the crowd is about the tragedy of minds and hearts becoming enclosed by defensive thinking. The account does not tell us much about the mounting emotional reaction each time Jesus drops another challenge into the confrontation. But we know that by the end they are furious enough to look for stones to throw at him. 

In this new era of populism and fake news and fanatical certainties, where is the space for mystery and humility and truth? Are we, too, not metaphorical stone-throwers (do we not think we are right and the others wrong whatever side of the divide we find ourselves)?r 

There is a lot in the Abrahamic tradition - especially in the psalms - about waiting on God in prayer and not rushing to judgment. But when a group of people want to assert their identity in the face of something new and threatening, that act of assertion rarely springs from an attitude of prayerful waiting. It is all about combat and denunciation. 

Having said that, Jesus, who practices the discipline of prayerful waiting throughout his earthly ministry, seems quite willing to enter into this theological combat. And he goes for the jugular. It seems like he boxes them in. Group-think turns to mob attack as Jesus asserts they cannot really be children of Abraham but are really of the devil (the father of lies not the father of truth). For if they truly understood Abraham – the faithful adventurer – they would welcome Jesus, he says. He then says that Abraham would be rejoicing at the news of that his day had come; they ask him how, as he is not yet even 50, he could possibly have seen Abraham?; Jesus then blows all our minds (and theirs) with his phrase of ultimate truth: 'Before Abraham, I am.'

It is worth remembering this: though it is mind-blowing enough to try and grasp that Jesus existed before time began, it is also mind-blowing to even conceive of the possibility that Jesus did indeed meet Abraham at the oaks of Mamre. In Genesis 18 there is a story of how Abraham meets God in the shape of three travellers. Christian reflection upon the story of the messengers has provided rich resources of thought about God as Trinity. These messengers tell Abraham that 'with God all things are possible'.

Could it be that Abraham met the Trinity before the impossible could be made possible (in both the birth of Isaac and the incarnation of Christ)? Could it be that Abraham, the father of Judaism, would have recognised and accepted Jesus had he been there while the crowd, who considered themselves to be 'children of Abraham', could not?

And so this is a Name of Jesus to worship and ponder and treasure with wondering awe. Time and eternity held within the loving gaze of the dance of the Trinity. May we have moments of encounter in this life that transcend what we think we know and lead us into greater truth.