Promise
38th Day of Lent
7th April 2017
When I was 14, I came to a deeper sense of faith. For the first time the message of the cross - that Jesus died for the forgiveness of sins - became personal. I can't remember the exact words that convinced that teenaged me. I can't remember the voice of the man who spoke them. I can't remember much, other than a starry night that I walked out into after committing my life to God.
Under the dome of a summer evening's constellation-rich sky, I first understood something of the span of God's generous love. I remember looking up and seeing the countless pricks of light (it was a school playing field on the coast of Lancashire, not far from Blackpool) and grasping a profound truth - that God's care for me was as wide as that night's sky.
Tonight, I walked under that self same sky. And that self-same promise came back to me that I first understood God to say back in August 1978. 'No matter what befalls, I am with you. My love is as broad as all your eyes can see. And it is for eternity.'
Sometimes small is beautiful. Sometimes awesome does the trick. Mostly, we need both - the personal and the infinite - to come close to God and to bow in adoration.
On this glorious sunny day I joined the parish ramble for a beautiful 6 mile walk through Eymore Woods and down to the river Severn at Upper Arley. In the shade of the woods we walked past streams, heard birds singing, and delighted in seeing brimstone and orange tipped butterflies. And the words of a hymn came to mind:
ReplyDelete"When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze:
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"
The awesome beauty of God's creation draws us close to God and we cannot help but praise and adore him.
The next verse of the same hymn is much more personal, speaking of Jesus dying for me. I, too, was a teenager when I came to know this truth for myself. It was while watching a passion play at church, and watching and hearing Jesus being nailed to the cross and dying, that I was suddenly profoundly aware that Jesus loved me so much that he died for even me. It was an overwhelming moment of love, and I responded with tears. This was deeply personal and life changing, and these hymn words express it so well:
"And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin"
I still scarce can take it in, and even today respond with tears knowing that Jesus loves me.
May the teenagers in our churches, today, look at the cross this Holy Week and come to experience Jesus' love for themselves.
Vegetable gardening was not my cup of tea. For the most part, it was a scorching cup of tea, that I preferred not to partake in. I left it to my brother to get on with. He was a budding farmer, who loved nothing better than to come home from a long day at school- 7 am to 5pm- and get into his gardening gear(old clothes and old shoes). I, on the other hand, liked nothing better than to lose myself in yet another book from the library; usually one that I had read several times before, there being only a limited number of books to choose from. By the end of the school day, I had had more physical activity with PE and agriculture than I could care to choose for myself.
ReplyDeleteAgriculture included vegetable cultivation, as well as chicken farming. In my mind, I smelt more like a farmer than the student I was meant to be after a day at school, and I had no desire for more of the same. My parents, however, had different ideas, and felt that being outside was good for me. I was therefore entrusted to look after the little rockery with its cacti and succulents, and the only shrub that had managed to escape the hungry attention of the nomadic goats and termites that survived the unforgiving terrain. The Oleander shrub had escaped the goats because its leaves were lethal to them. Termites did not appear to want to attack cacti and Oleander shrubs, perhaps for the same reason.
One blazing late afternoon, I stood by the rockery, swinging my empty bucket, whistling to high heaven over the acacia shrubs, when I was completely engulfed by a sense of being wrapped in the most profound love I had ever experienced. I stood there knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that God loved me more than I could hope to fathom. It was the kind of living experience that Saint Paul prays for in his letter to the Ephesians:
Ephesians 3:16-19
16 I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, 17 and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. 18 I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
When I was 17 several of my school friends and I went to a Christian youth camp on the Gower in South Wales. There was a tiny chapel where we had prayers each morning and evening. One evening I was deeply aware of God's presence and glory. God was saying to me, "I love you. I want you." It was a shattering experience, particularly as I considered myself to be rational and scientific. That night I had a dream which I interpreted as about asking Jesus into my life. I didn't know what to make of it, but it had been so vivid.
ReplyDeleteThat day was scorchingly hot and we walked along the coast path to the Worms Head. Although I could swim I had never been able to float - in spite of knowing the principles of flotation from physics. I spent a lot of time on my own thinking that trusting the sea to support me and trusting God with my life were basically the same and if I could float maybe I could trust God. By the time we came out of the water I had learnt to float.
After chapel that evening one of the other girls from my school had told one of the leaders that she had become a Christian I felt a deep conviction that I must speak out, even though I wasn't sure what I wanted to say because God speaking in a vision and a dream was just too unlikely. I used the other girl's words and said I'd like to say the same as her.
I was overwhelmed by the joy that my decision and confession of faith, such as it was, brought not just to my school friends, but also to girls I had only known a few days. It was amazing that they would care so much. When I was in bed and wondering at the evenings events, and aware of the discomfort of the sand, which got everywhere and my sunburnt legs I was aware of Jesus loving me enough to leave the harmony and beauty of heaven for me and I wept.